OH MY GOSH

LOVE TO ALL

He was afraid...but now he's not.

Im sitting here frustrated as hell, crying ,and talking to him on Yahoo Messenger.

Because he's says he's worried about me and he wants me to promise i'll start getting more than 3 hourse of sleeep.

I say, "it's fine...it really is. It' happens."

Then it really makes me cry because he says, "and i dont care if it happens to other people, i dont care about them near as much as i care about you."

I ask him to please not say that because it confuses me. He asks why, and i just say, "it just does, and i dont know what to think"

Then all the sudden he just says, "Babe???"

And of course im like what the hell, but i just say "huh?"

and he says..."I miss you.."

I couldnt believe it.

I just started crying and laughing cause he's such a nerf. A nerf that i love. And i say, "you do?"

OHm y goshhhh...im soo freakiing happyyy. I love yall! yall are so great to me.!!!

He's  not  c o m i n g  back...

It happens i guess....

It will be alright, right?

No, it wont be...i know...

He said..."I care about you, but i'm not in love you...Im so sorry but it's how i feel. Please dont be mad..."

"I'm not mad...im just in love with you..."

Why? The worst guys ive ever been with and loved, could love me back...And he's the best guy i ever met and love and He could NOT love me back...

What does that tell you? There's something wrong with me...

Call me naive... But i never knew that you couldnt love someone who loved you...

Once you think you're free of all naivety, something else you never knew comes along and knocks you down.

............

He has to change his mind. He just has to.

He has to come back to me. He just has to.

I never got to tell him how i feel. I have to.

Everything was perfect. Everything has to go back to being perfect.

I love him...and he has to love me too.

He has to come back.

Today is my 16th birthday.

"If you run away now...will you come back around...???"

"I'll wave goodbye watching you shine bright..."

"For whatever it's worth, and i know it might not mean anything, but i AM sorry..."

"it isnt worth anything...i dont care.."

"What?"

"I dont care..." she says as tears start pouring down her face,...and she breaks down.

smiling and thinking about you is all i do.

i feel awesome every day...The Impossible.

The words almost burst out of my mouth so many times a day. It's like i really want to say them. But i wont say it, i cant. Number one, i dont wanna say it until he says it. Number two, we've only been together a month...which, okay, for some relationships is a reasonable amount of time. But still. Number three, Once it's said, it can't be taken back. That's it. IT. Then i'm IN. It's either forever, or a year of gettting over some stupid guy who "breaks my heart". It's one or the other. That's it. But i really do want to say it...because i know deep down, [no matter how much i try to deny it for my own sake], that i do...

"I LOVE YOU" but i dont know how or when to say it.

[do yall have any suggestions???]

i think i'm going to Prom with him...[his prom, of course] It's April 5th.